My Urban Myth. The Naked Truth.


Meh. (Photo credit: Patrick Haney)

You’ve heard it all before. My brothers cousins friend, knows a man who knows a man, who swears – Insert particularly gruesome hilarious story here…. Are there ever occasions that in these myths or allegorical tales or lessons,  there is some small shred of truth, a nugget of reality?

Yes there are. – Here’s my urban not so myth!

I used to work for an international airline with a very famous owner and a red uniform. I did this for the early part of my twenties and like any type of job, there were always the stories. Ghost stories that kept you awake on long night flights, crash tales that were complete baloney, usually involving some element of fate and the pranks and naughty stories that get more and more exaggerated.

Recently I was on the tube in London and two young women with their suitcases are discussing an airline urban myth, the one about the woman who slept-walked naked in a New York Hotel on Lexington Avenue on the 12th floor and is caught on security camera’s.

“Oh, I’ve heard that story before” – Air Hostess one said

“I am sure half these stories are made up” – Air Hostess Two said.

They were completely oblivious to the middle-aged woman sat next to them with her kindle upside down and a bright red face and whilst the security camera bit and the tape being handed to the Captain is false, the sleepwalker and the naked bit are most definitely true.

I remember getting off the flight and feeling dog tired after landing in Newark. The coach dropped us off and in NYC, we only got a single night layover. I got into my room, had a shower, wrapped myself in a towel and sat on the bed to watch some cable. The next thing I knew I was on the twelfth floor wearing nothing but a confused expression and minus the towel. I ended up finding a security guard who lent me his jacket so I could go down to reception and  get a new key card. I told a friend of mine what had happened on the flight back to Heathrow the next day and the story has gone into legend, with multiple versions and some quite intriguing embellishments.

So next time you hear, one of those, y’know stories…. Don’t automatically write it off…..


Axonometric view of the Olympic Stadium, showi...

Axonometric view of the Olympic Stadium, showing the various layers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As a Brit, and an Englishwoman, it’s not often I feel very patriotic. In fact even the word patriotism is not used culturally over here when we talk about ourselves. We don’t do a lot in England for celebrations. Yes, I know we had the Jubilee this year but I suspect a good 50% of the people lining the mall were tourists and not Brits. Where I live in the Midlands whilst we were all grateful for the Bank Holiday, I don’t know that many people who had a street party – Mind you the weather was awful.

That’s not to say I am not proud of the Monarchy, the Queen works bloody hard and the entire royal family costs us twenty-two pence per annum (that even includes the relatively unknown royals – like Prince Michael of Kent). I think we get our moneys worth.

We tend not to take ourselves too seriously you see. We find public displays of anything faintly embarrassing and we’d rather you didn’t get too emotional on us. We are not quite sure how to comfort you.

However, the Olympics last night made me proud that I am British and English simultaneously. I have to  admit that I might even have shed a tear or two for the 7,500 volunteers who made it all possible. I think it says something about us that they also got the largest, loudest most emphatic cheer in the closing speeches given by Mr Rog.

Danny Boyle

Danny Boyle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There were also  the usual Twitter conspiracies about how Danny Boyle had included themes that were a direct attack on the Conservative Government by celebrating our National Health Service and the Steel Workers, Miners etc. – with the Olympic Rings being forged by manufacturing. By and large I ignored these.

My personal Twitter Feed was full of thoughts of pride and passion.

I thought it was a wonderful celebration of unity, harmony and humour. We showed the world that even the Queen was prepared to get involved, with the “James Bond” sequence. The young men and women who lit the Olympic Cauldron were an inspired touch (demonstrating inspiration for the next generation) and even the cauldron itself designed by Thomas Heatherwick shows just how talented and creative we are.

Oh and I better not forget the music. All I can say is WoW. I want the Ipod playlist.

We even rolled out Paul McCartney at the end, who’s becoming what Noddy Holder is to Christmas at these events.

Thanks Danny, you made me really proud.